fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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