So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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