take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize