My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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