I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.