Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?