Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy