I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?