mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?