He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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