listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
