I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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