If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
