they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
