ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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