i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
