im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
