She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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