At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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