I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
