Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
