I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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