Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
