Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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