help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Still dying that you shit outside
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
