Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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