there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
