return my video game
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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