Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
