Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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