You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
