so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
