Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
