that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
