C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
