I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
