she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
