The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
