So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Terrible idea I love it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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