How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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