I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
