he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
