The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
