What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize