i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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