Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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