Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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