I think I died a long time ago.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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