That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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