Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
