There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
