Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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