laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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