Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
