I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
