Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize