So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize