She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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