carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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