She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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