Soap is not a condiment
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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