i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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