What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize