normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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