I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
