It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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